{Review}: The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin

the four tendencies  I’m a big Gretchen Rubin fan and I’ve been looking forward to reading The Four Tendencies since it came out.  I knew my “tendency” after reading Better Than Before, and it made so much sense. This book delves deeper into each of the four tendencies, and I have a deeper understanding of what it means to be an Obliger.  This understanding is immediately applicable in my every day life, which cannot always be said of other self-help books out there!  I admit that after reading the introduction, I went ahead and skipped to the Obliger section of the book. I went back and read the other sections later, I promise!

It is also incredibly useful to understand other tendencies, especially if you’re married to someone who is a different tendency. You won’t ever change that other person but you can change how you react or respond and that might make all the difference in the world.  There’s a quiz to help readers figure out their tendency, so I gave the quiz to my husband and he turns out to also be an Obliger. If I really think about it, it’s not surprising. We seem like really different people, but there have been times that I’ve seen patterns in his behavior that seem so familiar to me, and it’s because I see those patterns in myself, when I’m not in denial.

What I like about this approach is that it doesn’t prescribe a narrow definition of  a personality type. Rather, it highlights tendencies in a person, and helps you shape an effective response or approach to certain behaviors. I always tell my kids, “You can’t control what another person does, but you can always control yourself and what you do.” This book gives you the tools to control your response to someone else, or even to yourself, based on what you know about that person’s tendencies.  If you’re looking to salvage or strengthen a relationship, this book may be what you need.

More about The Four Tendencies, from Amazon:

In this groundbreaking analysis of personality type, bestselling author of Better Than Before and The Happiness Project Gretchen Rubin reveals the one simple question that will transform what you do at home, at work, and in life.

During her multibook investigation into understanding human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question “How do I respond to expectations?” we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively.
More than 600,000 people have taken her online quiz, and managers, doctors, teachers, spouses, and parents already use the framework to help people make significant, lasting change.
The Four Tendencies hold practical answers if you’ve ever thought…
·         People can rely on me, but I can’t rely on myself.
·         How can I help someone to follow good advice?
·         People say I ask too many questions.
·         How do I work with someone who refuses to do what I ask—or who keeps telling me what to do?
With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. It’s far easier to succeed when you know what works for you.

Buy This Book Now

{I received a free copy of this book from Blogging for Books, for review purposes. This post contains affiliate links. That means I get a small commission if you buy this book using the links in this post.}

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *